Canon: My canon is the T.V series Misfits which is a science fiction drama but it is also has hilarious humor.
Short Summary: A bunch of young offenders are sent to do community service to pay for their crimes and one day while working, a wierd electrical storm hit and they obtained supernatural powers which causes a series of events that caused murders and a friendship between these five teenagers. My fanfiction is based on Rudy, the new character in season 3
( I do not like to swear but they swear alot in the TV series :)
Rudy
There was unusual clouds shaped like a spiral, almost like a hurricane was about to attack the city of
Kate opens her eyes slowly and squints as the blinding sun rays cover her. The feel of electricity runs through her body, tingling at the tips of her fingers and toes. Sitting up shading her eyes with her shaking hand, she notices that she isn't hurt, nor does she feel any pain in her body. Looking up into the sky, she looks confused, it was clear with the sun shining that she could feel beads of sweat at the back of her neck and on her nose. She feels her face and slowly moves her hands turning them in front of her eyes not believing she is alive.
Her Black Hand bag and its contents are scattered all over the footpath, make up kit and cell phone lay in pieces on the road. Picking up everything that was in her handbag she assumes she was hit by a robber but sees that nothings missing. She looks at everything she has, which is exactly what she had when she left the house this morning, cherry lip gloss, wallet, Oakley shades, mini make up kit and the blackberry cell.
She proceeds awkwardly to her house while looking around confused and frustrated. Her heart skips a beat when she sees that her apartment door is half open. She gradually walks in, pacing herself incase she needed to run.
"Hello?" No answer.
Her voice sounded funny and weird, but she was too overwhelmed to care. She gulps and feels her throat going dry like she hasn’t drunk water in days from being petrified.
Interesting so far but maybe you should write a paragraph about what the story is about and where you adapted it from?
ReplyDeleteyeah i have to do that because i posted this as draft but i will post the fully written everything tommorow. if that makes sense. :)
Deleteyeah i have to do that because i posted this as draft but i will post the fully written everything tommorow. if that makes sense. :)
ReplyDeleteA good start. Looking forward to seeing the rest.
ReplyDeleteA real mystery. Maybe expand on what happened in the begging there?
Interesting so far!
ReplyDeletei like how you put a little summary before yoou start your fan-fic, this allows the readers to know what the original story was about.
would love to read more of your story.
It's interesting so far, I would be interested in seeing how you wrap the story up.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few grammatical errors here and there but the one thing that threw me the most was the way certain sentences or paragraphs seemed to appear third person, I would probably suggest changing the story itself to third person, it is easier to write and harder to describe environments without giving a reason for a character to be noticing them.
yeah,haha english is my second language and i think thats why i sometimes make big mistakes with my writing, especially with point of view of the story. But yes i will try and improve based on your advice. Thank you Ford :)
DeleteEntertaining to read so far! Would like to read how it ends and how it changes. I also like the way you left the story unfinished, leaves the audience wanting more and curious.
ReplyDelete